Morgan Spenla: Creating a Home in the Military

Remember last week when I told you I was going to be featuring a FAB-U-LOUS guest blogger this week?? Well, you can relax now because the time has arrived!

I'm so excited to introduce you all to the ever-so talented, design-savvy and former military spouse, Morgan Spenla!

Morgan, her very handy husband Kevin, and their sweet little girl, Olivia

I first met Morgan in college and got to know her a bit better during a spring break community service trip we took to Nicaragua. After college, we even worked together for a period of time at the same consulting firm.

Now, Morgan spends her day creating magic on her blog, Pepper Design Blog (PDB), and is also the marketing director for a motion control company. On PDB, you can follow Morgan and her adorable family as they remodel their 1930s San Diego bungalow. Morgan also gives awesome tips and insight into handmade projects, DIY ideas, home design & entertaining, wardrobe styleboards and "mommy" tips.

The Spenla's "kitchen" before...

And after!!! Can you spot the differences?? ; )

If you have yet to experience the creative awesomeness that is PDB, I highly suggest you check it out. I have spent numerous hours "ooohing" and "awwwing" over all of her great projects.

So when I decided to do a post about tips on creating a "home" with a military lifestyle, Morgan was the obvious choice for an interview. Enjoy!!

*********************************************************************************

Whitney, thanks so much for having me! I am honored to be here to share a few of my favorite tips on creating a happy, comfy home. I'm no expert in this field but I do love and appreciate the challenge of building a warm and welcoming environment for my family, for it is within those four walls that you thrive together!

W: Thanks for taking the time to answer these questions Morgan, despite your never-a-free moment lifestyle! Here we go: right after a move, it takes time to unpack and really make the place you're living in a "home." Whether it's because things are still in boxes, you're waiting for your goods to arrive or you just haven't had time to hang up pictures. What are some quick and easy ways to make your place feel like a home?

M: Creating a home out of a new house or apartment can make transitioning to a new location easier. For me, it's the little things like an organized kitchen, a spot to put your mail or a comfy bedroom respite that helps to take the edge off of the stress of relocating.

My best solution is to designate one room as the box zone. If you can spare the space, use this room to store all unpacked boxes so that as you work and tackle decorating and unpacking, there are never stacks and stacks of boxes in the corner of each and every room. Each room feels fresh, clean and organized because it's your space - not the scene of a moving party every night. When you have a free moment, tackle one box or ten.

My other suggestion is to decorate in layers. Be conscientious of furniture placement first, then larger accessories such as rugs (which make such a cozy impact!) and lighting, finally add your family keepsakes and decor. Don't rush the process! Embrace the adventure and enjoy.

Top: Olivia's nursery before, Bottom: Olivia's nursery currently - such a transformation!

W: What are your recommendations for creating a "home" and personal style on a budget?

M: It's all about the thrill of the hunt. Regardless of budget, I think that one of the reasons we find decorating so enjoyable is because our creative side gets to takeover for a bit.

Create image boards with what your ideal space would look like using magazines, blogs and online sources like Pinterest. Build a budget for yourself and a timeline of when you'd like to find such pieces, this can help to spread out the shock of the cost of creating a space and will keep you focused on the most important purchases.

W: In your opinion, what makes a home comfortable and inviting?

M: A home can mean so many things to different people but for me it's all about warmth and coziness, which is why I'm a big fan of area rugs on wooden floors (Overstock.com), an abundance of throw pillows (I make almost all of my own for a fraction of the price) and blanket throws or tapestries.These elements bring in comfort, and likewise allow you to invest in more modern furniture and accessories.

The Spenla's living room and accent pieces

W:  When it comes to home decor and furniture, are there any items you think you should splurge on vs. save? What items do you think you can and should get for less money?

M: I am in favor of investing in good, quality furniture. That doesn't have to mean expensive (sometimes the very best are Craigslist or flea market finds) but a comfy couch, bed, dining room chairs - these are pieces that you will be forever grateful for. Find the savings in Etsy art, throw pillows and affordable framing for family photos.I also love to play with fabrics, using a favorite designer pattern in a small amount and then incorporating discount fabric store versions to help offset the cost (eBay can be helpful with finding well known fabrics at a great price in small quantities).

Left: A DIY fabric garland Morgan made, Right: The garland hanging over the buffet in their dining room

W:  With moving frequently, spouses will almost always be living in a place that is very different from their last home - the place may be larger or smaller, and the rooms/layout will have changed. Do you have any advice for shopping for home decor or furniture that would work in a variety of spaces?

M: Allow your style to be a little eclectic in your purchases, mixing and matching various genres, finishes and styles as you see fit. The flexibility will help you adapt to new spaces as you move a side table from the living room of one home to the bedroom of another. A dining table might actually make the perfect office desk in one space or a giant mirror might serve equally well above your mantel as it did on the wall of an old guestroom. Finally, give yourself the freedom to switch out big pieces as necessary. Whenever I buy a larger piece I always consider the resale value in the cost - you can usually sell something for 1/3-1/2 the original price on Craigslist if you have the time and energy and if you've maintained the piece (or even put a little love into it!). 

The darling table settings and dessert buffet Morgan created

W: Where are some of your favorite places or websites to shop for furniture and home decor?

M: Craigslist and I are best friends (just be smart about shopping in a new city - don't travel alone), with thrift stores, flea markets and garage sales coming in at a close second! Etsy and eBay are wonderful. If you're searching for new, try daily deal sites like Joss & Main or One Kings Lane. Wayfair is a wonderful resource for reviews of many of the products you'll find on these sites (it's nice to hear some feedback before a purchase) and Overstock is a plethora of deals if you're willing to sort through virtual stacks. Even trendy stores such as Urban Outfitters and West Elm offer killer mark downs! Have an image board with a vision for the space as well as a realistic budget written out is helpful in pulling the trigger on purchases at any of the above.

Thanks so much Morgan for stopping by and sharing some awesome home tips with us! For more tips and inspiration, be sure to check out Morgan's blog here.

Marriage in the Military

Hey All! Ah it feels good to be back writing on the blog. I apologize for being a little MIA recently - there has been a lot going on in our household!

First off, my husband and I just recently celebrated our two year wedding anniversary (woot! woot!) We always like to do a little something special for our anniversary and this time we decided to celebrate with a Caribbean cruise. It was our first time "cruising" and while we initially felt a bit loss and overwhelmed, we quickly got the hang of elbowing our way through the food line. Here are a few pictures from our trip:

Labadee, Haiti

Falmouth, Jamaica

Falmouth, Jamaica

In front of a blowhole in Grand Cayman

Mayan ruins in Tulum, Mexico

So since marriage has been on my brain recently, I thought it would be an appropriate topic to talk about on my blog.

No matter how long you've been married or how long you've been apart of the military - marriage, especially when coupled with a military lifestyle, is not easy... the frequent deployments, limited communication, new locations and at times, a nonexistent support system can make things even more complicated. 

I recently was introduced to an article featured on USA Today about an Army Sgt. Maj. in Delta Force, Chris Faris, and his wife Lisa, who opened up about the struggles they've experienced during their 22-year marriage in the military. 

Chris and Lisa have been touring around the U.S. speaking to military families as a broad initiative by Admiral McRaven to deal with mounting emotional strain on the homefront.

Chris and Lisa have been giving a real and honest look inside their marriage and the challenges they've faced along the way. Chris opens up about a time he lost it in front of his family and Lisa talks about how she had already decided years ago that their marriage was over. 

She went on to say how when Chris would come home from deployment, he would put up walls and "the barrier between us grew farther and farther apart." It got to a point where, "the separation was fine, it was when he was home that was the problem." 

It was an epiphany that Chris had in 2008 that began the turnaround in their marriage. The epiphany was triggered when his daughter asked him if he could remember how old she was the last time he was actually present for her birthday. Chris could not remember her age and she responded that it was for her 10th bday. She was 18 when she asked her father that question.

The Faris's said that by no means is their marriage fixed, but the first step in making a turnaround is seeking help and reaching out when their is an issue.

Check out the USA Today story for the full article.

You can also listen to their NPR interview, where Chris and Lisa talk about their marriage and answer calls from listeners.

Hope you find this article as refreshing as I did. Be sure to check back next week as I will be featuring a SUPER AWESOME guest blogger....get excited.

xoxo,

Whit

Military Spouse Employment Partnership: What's the Deal?

If you've been following the news or any military websites/blogs, you've probably heard some "buzz" about the new Military Spouse Employment Partnership (MSEP) that's recently been put in place.

The U.S. Department of Defense just yesterday released an article about the growth in this Spouse Employment program. Some 400,000 jobs have been posted with the partnership since it was created last June and 22,000 military spouses have been hired. Another 34 companies were added to the existing 94 program partners, which include Goodwill Industries, Safeway, Volt Workforce Solutions and others ranging from data processing to real estate to banks.

The goal of this program is to give spouses broad employment opportunities and a career, not just "another job." Participating employers make a pledge to recruit, hire, promote and retain military spouses in portable careers. In addition, MSEP aims to hold frequent job hiring fairs on or near military installations. 

Also, this program's goal is to have every state legislature adopt transfer agreements for military spouses' professional licenses by 2014.

Robert Gordon, the assistant secretary of defense for military community and family policy, has been heading this project and says that the first step in this partnership is undergoing an employer vetting process, "we begin by making sure employers understand that our spouses need career opportunities that fit with their lifestyle- opportunities that are portable, mobile, flexible and incorporate telecommuting whenever possible." 

Gordon says the second step is "bringing spouses and employers together" through the MSEP job postings website.   

Let's Give it a Try

If you have experienced success through using the MSEP website, congrats and I would love to hear about your experience. I am hoping in the coming weeks I can get some more information from MSEP on how exactly their website increases military spouse employment (vs. using Monster.com, for example). 

Check out the website to find available jobs in your area. 

MSEP also has a Facebook page that you can "like" to get updates on jobs that are posted on their website, as well as career coaching advice. 

Happy Friday to you all! Please forward this post along to anyone that could benefit from this information. I will be doing a follow-up post once I get some of my questions answered. 

xoxo,

Whit

I Appreciate You

I am so glad there is a day dedicated to appreciating military spouses....a week would be nice, but we can't be overly greedy. 

There are many spouses out there who have given and sacrificed so much "for the greater cause." I would just like you to know, even if no one says it to you today, I appreciate you! 

You, the military spouse, have inspired me, strengthened me and befriended me. Thank you for all that you are and all that you continue to be.

And now a little story I found on the internet that I think perfectly embodies the military spouse: 

Happy Military Spouse Appreciation Day!!!

xoxo,

Whit

Keeping Our Identity SAFE

Growing up I was always told to "keep my identity safe." I remember going to ATMs and triple-checking to make sure no one was nearby and then proceeding to shove my body as close to the ATM as possible just to make sure anyone hiding behind the bushes couldn't get a glimpse of my pin.  


I got in the habit at a young age of tearing up my credit card statements, only putting my social security number and address on documents that required it and avoiding actually speaking my social security number over the phone or inputting it online. 

Creepy identity theft man

Paranoid much??? Perhaps. But most of this outwardly bizarre behavior can be attributed to the fact that my mom had her identity stolen once and it took her 7 years to get the whole mess sorted out. SEVEN YEARS. 


I don't know about you, but there are a number of things I would rather dedicate my time to than convincing the government that I'm not currently living in Mexico and that the 10 credit cards opened under my name was not of my doing. 


Military members can especially be easy targets of these financial attacks. Being associated with military means that our personal information is all over the place -- it seems you can barely even buy groceries on base without being asked for a social security number. Coupled with the fact that we have to move every few years makes keeping our identity safe even more precarious.  


So here are some basic, but important reminders on how you can hopefully avoid ever having to deal with this issue. (Source: Smart Military Money) 

"Avoiding Identity Theft Can Be Easy and Cheap." 

-Smart Military Money

1)  Buy a shredder. 

Yes, it takes a little bit longer than just tossing a piece of paper in the trash, but it's well worth the additional 3 second shred time. Stop debating whether you really need one or not because you do. There are many shredders on the market that aren't expensive and get the job done just fine. We have the Fellowes Powershred and it works great. 


Smart Military Money's rule of thumb if you are wondering what documents you should shred and what should go in the trash: if you're questioning it, shred it.  


2) Keep an eye on your bills and credit report.

I am sure many of you have experienced a time when you've looked at your credit card statement and your heart stopped a little - "where are all these charges coming from?!" My husband and I experienced this recently when apparently "we" were having a shopping spree in Las Vegas. We were lucky enough to catch the charges before they even went through, but this experience alone can make you feel violated. 


Smart Military Money says that we often glance at our final balance thinking that it looks about right, but we really need to go through each payment and recognize each purchase. 


It's also important to check your credit report at least every year. By using a resource such as annualcreditreport.com, military members can review their reports from each of the three credit bureaus, Equifax, Experian and Transunion, annually for free.  


3) Use online and digital protection.

Make sure you are using some type of antivirus software package to help keep your identity safe by preventing sites from leaving unwanted cookies or strings of programming designed to report on your internet usage to third parties.


A basic antivirus software for windows is AVG and it's free to download - if you want a more in-depth virus package you can upgrade to the internet security package that costs about $50. Although fewer viruses target the Mac Operating System, they do exist. One of the most popular and widely used free antivirus software for Macs is Sophos Mac Home Edition.  


4) Use a random card number generators when shopping online. 

If you're anything like me, then you do 98% of your shopping online. We all know the dangers associated with shopping online, but we do it anyways because it's convenient. And let's face it - we can all use a little convenience in our lives. However, even popular and trusted sites can get hacked. 


Many credit card companies and even some banks offer a program known as a random card number generator, which will temporarily attach a number to your account for an online purchase or to generate a number only good for online shopping. Take a look at Discover's random card number generator. 


5) Protect your passwords! 

That image above? Yeah, don't do that...using a sticky note or a piece of paper to write down your passwords is not the way to go. Consider using a protected password keeper program, like Password Protection that allows you to store your information in a secure database. 

Also, protect the password to your email as closely as you would the password to your online banking because a lot of your information is interconnected. Avoid using digitis from your social security number, credit card number of bank account number when you are creating your passwords. The more obscure and complex, the better. 

Hope these were some helpful reminders to you...I know they were for me. At times, I get lazy about protecting my identity, but then I have to remind myself: seven years - yeahhhhh I don't want to deal with that. 

Happy Tuesday to you all!

xoxo,

Whit

Keeping Our Identity: Part 3

I am so excited to introduce you all to our "guest" military spouse this week. She is truly a talented and inspiring woman...

I was first introduced to Jennifer through the Spouses' Club at Goodfellow Air Force Base. The Club was in desperate need of a logo and some other marketing materials, and I was told that Jennifer had graphic design experience. 

I gave her some very general guidelines of what we were looking for and told her to have at it.....the logos she came back with literally blew me away. So basically she saved the Club's booty BIG time and helped our logo go from this:

Yes, I created this "gem" of a logo. Please don't laugh...I have no graphic design experience ; )


To This!!!

Just a SLIGHT improvement, right?? Sarcasm intended.

I sadly never got to meet Jennifer in person, but I feel like I got to know her fairly well after our hundred plus email conversations. She always exuded kindness, and a quiet confidence and humility, despite her superior graphic design and communications skills. 

So here is a little bit more about Jennifer and how she was able to keep her identity while transitioning into the role of military spouse. Part 1 of the "Keeping Our Identity" series can be found here and Part 2 can be found here : )

Jennifer and her husband with their two adorable little girls.


"We got married, bought a house, got a dog, and had a baby all in the same year."

W: Tell us a little bit about yourself...

J: Well, I’m 28, born and raised in Missouri and mother of two toddlers (Elliette, 2 and Reese, 1). I met my husband, Rob, in college. He moved with me to Lincoln, Nebraska while I completed my master’s degree. Then, we moved back to Missouri to start our careers. We got married, bought a house, got a dog, and had a baby all in the same year. 

I loved my job as the director of marketing for a college, but wanted to start a business and spend more time at home with my baby. Rob was also struggling to find his purpose. He had always talked about joining the Air Force (my brother and several uncles are veterans) and once we started a family, the job security and health benefits seemed too good to pass up. We have been at Wright-Patterson AFB in Dayton, Ohio for about 7 months now and I am working full-time as the assistant director of communications for a nearby college.

 

"I wonder how many other spouses sacrifice their hopes and dreams to conform to military life?"

W: Have you ever felt that it was difficult to keep your sense of self as a military spouse? 

J: The short answer is yes. I found it difficult to even understand the military. And, when you don’t understand something, it’s hard to embrace your role in the whole thing. When I reconnected with Rob after basic training, he had experienced so much without me, and changed so much as a result of it. The dress, the lingo, the traditions—all were foreign to me. I found it somewhat difficult to be the good military wife I was supposed to be because I simply didn’t get it. As time goes on, I learn more about the Air Force and am starting to feel somewhat at ease in this military lifestyle.

While I love being a military spouse, I don’t want that to be the only thing that defines me. When I wasn’t working, I found it difficult to keep my sense of self and purpose. Perhaps it’s an insecurity issue, but I think I enjoy working outside of the home because I get validation that I’m important and valuable…that my contributions count. I also like earning a paycheck and not feeling like I need to ask for permission to buy something with “his” money.

In some strange way, I think the military perpetuates these identity issues. Any time we schedule a medical appointment, we are asked for our sponsor’s ID number. Not our name, not our social security number—our sponsor’s information. It’s as if the military itself is sending us a message that it is our husbands, not us, that matter.

Now that I’m working and loving my job, we’ve started talking about what that means for us as a family. If he decides to stay in the military for awhile, that means I will have to leave my job in less than four years. I may not be ready then. He is coming to terms with that possibility. I think this is where spouses who work outside the home face real challenges. I feel like, to be a good military wife, I should be supportive of my husband’s career. But when it conflicts with my own career—and an important part of my identity—it makes it difficult. There are times I think about trying to get a government job or even joining the Air Force myself just to make it easier on us. I wonder how many other spouses sacrifice their hopes and dreams to conform to military life?

"But what has helped me cope with that was to recognize that this is HIS career, not mine. Yes, we made this decision together, but that doesn't mean I have to give up everything I want out of life." 

W: If it was difficult for you, what did you do to overcome this?

J: Well, I don’t know that I’ll ever really figure out how to be an awesome military spouse while doing all the other things I want to do in life. But what has helped me cope with that was to recognize that this is HIS career, not mine. Yes, we made this decision together but that doesn’t mean I have to give up everything I want out of life. With a little creativity, a career can still be had. I started a graphic design business while Rob was in tech school and it wasn’t feasible for me to work full time. The portfolio I built helped me land a job at our new duty station.

I’m lucky to have found a career that gives me satisfaction. But it’s a double-edged sword. As women, we seem to always want what we don’t have. When I was a full-time stay-at-home mom, I couldn’t wait to go back to work. Now, I love my job, but miss my babies while I’m working. It’s also difficult to connect with other spouses when working full time since many events happen during business hours. I was fortunate to be stationed at a base that has an amazingly supportive spouses’ club (shout out to Goodfellow Combined Spouses’ Club!). They planned both day and evening events and made a real effort to connect women on a meaningful level. I would encourage other spouses to seek out these opportunities for connection and friendship. And, if such a club doesn’t exist at your base, start one!

"Instead of talking about what our husband's do, we should talk about ourselves, our hopes and dreams, our fears, our experiences...those are topics that build friendships." 

W: What advice would you give to other military spouses who may be struggling with this same issue?

                                         

J: I’m always reluctant to give advice since I rarely have things figured out for myself. That said, I think military spouses should recognize that everything is not an either/or proposition…it doesn’t always have to be one thing or the other. I believe you can have it all, to a degree. Here’s an example--I used to think that I had to decide to either have a career or be a stay at home mom. After some soul searching, I realized that for me, it wasn’t about staying at home, but being attentive and involved in my kids’ lives. Now, I have my career that helps me maintain a strong sense of self and purpose. I’m in the office from 9 to 5, but when I’m home, I’m present…truly present in their lives. On the weekends, we go out and do things…have mini-adventures. We focus on the quality of our time together rather than the number of hours. 

I also recommend joining a spouses’ club—but get to know the women as women, not spouses. Instead of talking about what our husband’s do, we should talk about ourselves, our hopes and dreams, our fears, our experiences…those are the topics that build friendships.

-  THE END -

A BIG thank you to Jennifer for providing real and honest answers to these questions!

....and, if any of you need graphic design work done, this is the lady to talk to! She did my photography logo/business cards and I am in LOVE with them. She can be reached either through email, jrjonas@gmail.com or Facebook (Jennifer Jonas Jolls).

Hope you all enjoy the weekend! 

xoxo,

Whit

Monday Inspiration

I woke up this morning feeling pretty beaten up...it was one of those "never stop tossing and turning" nights. As I dragged myself to the coffee machine, with bags under my eyes and my hair looking fabulous in all its morning glory, I thought, "ughhhh - this is not how I want to start my week."

So I decided to peruse the internet for a little "pick-me up." With every reading and sip of coffee, I felt a little more revived and little less zombie-like. I'm more prepared to tackle the week ahead...with crazy hair and all : ) Here are some quotes to get you inspired for the week if you are having a Monday morning like mine:

Please be sure to check back here again this week, as I will be posting the final post in the "Keeping Our Identity" series, featuring a super awesome lady that I'm really excited to introduce you to. Click here to read Part 1 and Part 2 of this series. Happy Monday! ; )

xoxo,

Whit